TO THE MAN I WILL ALWAYS LOVE
Someone asked me if I am over you, I just smiled. I have always ached every time I realize it’s you, and it will always be you. The idea of me loving someone else is a blur right now.
As much as I wanted to say, “I am over him, I don’t care anymore,” and mean it, I can’t, because I care. Even if you happen to stumble on my way ten or fifteen years from now, I still and always care. A lot of people misunderstand this concept of moving on and say you won’t care about the past if you’re truly over it. For me, it doesn’t work that way.
Moving on for me is merely accepting what happened, with no regret for what will never be. And for a person who loves too much, I can truthfully say that one can never really get over someone who once meant the world to them. We can just get used to the pain and feeling of missing someone until we make ourselves comfortable in it, and I believe that a tiny spark of hope can always reborn what we thought is already dead– love.
It’s been two years since everything ended but I can still remember the vast happiness I had when I was with you, and I just want to say that I miss you.
I miss those moments when we glance at each other and smile because we both know words are not enough to explain what we feel. Even if everyday I am dying to feel these all again, all I could do is sit here, try to be happy for you, and pour out all my feelings by writing about you.
Love, if ever the time comes when you remember me and come back, just know that I am always here, waiting.
However, love, if the time comes when you come back and see me loving someone else, just know that it took me too much courage to open my heart to another guy again after what I’ve been through for you, for us. If you happen to realize that he could have been you, just keep in mind that my heart, no matter how much it endures every pain for you, it gives up. I know I’ll be in love again. But for now, I’ll continue holding on to what you said, “If we are meant to be, love will lead us back.”
You see, I don’t believe in destiny and such things as “meant-to-bes” for I know that only our own choices influence what happens in our life. But you, you made me believe in dreams and fantasies. But I guess it’s time to wake up.
I’ll smile for you again because I know that one day, I’ll be seeing you. Until then, I will be missing you.
I am not asking for you to come back. I see you are very happy now and it somehow eases the feeling of longing for your presence, for your happiness is my delight, even if I am not a part of it. — Written by Tin Sarmienta
Art: Betusha Rapatusha